We’re Expecting! + Pregnancy Q&A

We’re expecting our first baby next May!

James and I are over the moon to be starting this new chapter of our lives! We recently shared the big news on Instagram, but wanted to answer some of the questions that we received in the days that followed. From the bottom of ours, thank you so so much for all the love and well wishes. We can’t wait start this wild ride together!

When are you due?
May 23, 2021 – a very astute friend pointed out that our babe’s birthdate lands exactly in between James’ birthday and mine! It’s also a week before our wedding anniversary.

How long have you been trying?
For us, it only took two months of trying and for that, we feel really lucky! This can be a sensitive subject for a lot of people, but I’m normally open about my life – and I obviously put my life out there for my blog, so I don’t mind! Just remember, everyone’s journey is different and you never know when they might be in the middle of a challenging time.

James: Similar Green Plaid Shirt / Medium Washed Jeans / Jen: Burgundy Off the Shoulder Dress (S)

Will you be doing a gender reveal?
Yes! During my 12-week checkup, I did bloodwork to test for any genetic disorders, which they can also use to determine the sex. I also had my first anatomy scan at 16 weeks, but told the doctor and the sonogram technician that we didn’t want to know yet. The doctor wrote the answer down on a post-it note and stuck it in an envelope for us, and we’re planning to find out over the holidays with my parents before sharing with more family and friends.

What’s been the most surprisingly pregnancy symptom?
I wouldn’t call this surprising, but it was definitely difficult to accept that I felt completely out of commission during my first trimester. I’m usually a 100 mph multi-tasker with 50 different windows open on my desktop at any given time. But about four weeks into my pregnancy, there were days that I could barely get out of bed – just to move to the couch and take another nap! It’s been a tough adjustment knowing that I can’t do as much in the day as I used to, but I’m also enjoying this slower period of my life. And I have more energy in my second trimester, although still not at 100%.

James: Navy Flannel Shirt / Medium Washed Jeans / Jen: Cropped Textured Cardigan (XS) / Black Lace Cami (XS) / High Waisted Skinny Jeans (26S, although not for long!)

What made you and your husband realize that you were ready to get pregnant?
James says he was probably ready two years ago (when we were 32), but I wanted a little more time to enjoy our most recent chapter of our lives together – which we definitely did with all the travels we’ve done together!

I think sometime last year we discussed 2020 being the year. Then the pandemic hit and I was thankful that we hadn’t started trying yet because homemade cocktails definitely got me through the first few months of quarantining at home!

In all seriousness, this year we really like we were in a good place in life to start a family — personally, as partners, financially. I wouldn’t call it 100% ready, but I’m definitely as ready as I’ll ever be!

Do you have a name picked out?
We have some contenders! Ever since we found out that we were pregnant, I’ve been saying every name I see or hear aloud with James’ last name – even if it’s something ridiculous. It’s been fun to experiment!

James: Quarter Zip Sweater (S) / Dark Washed Jeans / White Sneakers / Jen: White Mock Neck Sweater (XS) / Sequin Skirt (XS) / Nude Pumps (6.5 TTS)

Will you be giving your child an Asian middle name?
James is Filipino and I’m Vietnamese, but there aren’t names from either culture that have really stuck with us. I have a Vietnamese name (it’s Minh Tam), which I’m not particularly attached to, but I’m not too worried about it because there are plenty of other ways to honor and incorporate our heritage throughout the baby’s life!

Have you made any baby purchases yet?
Absolutely none! The only thing I’ve purchased is a pregnancy pillow, which is more for me, but we’re starting to build our registry soon and you better believe I’ll be looking for recommendations!

Do you plan to stay in New York City?
Yes, for now! We bought our two-bedroom apartment in Queens two years ago and don’t have any plans to move out for another few years. We currently use our second bedroom as an office / where I do all of my outfit try-ons, so we’ll definitely need to rearrange and make room for baby!

What are your plans for work when the baby arrives?
Unfortunately, I don’t get paid parental leave at my current job, so while I plan to take (I think around 12 weeks), it will be a mix of using my vacation days and taking unpaid time off.

How old are you? Did you feel “old” when TTC (trying to conceive)?
I’m 34, turning 35 next July. I’ll admit, I sometimes do the math in my head (e.g. when baby turns 34, I’ll be 68) and that can make me feel old. But for where I am right now in life, I don’t feel old at all – I feel like I’m just getting started!

Ever since James and I got married five and a half years ago, people have been asking the #1 questions: when are you going to have kids?! I’m sure the intentions are pure, but for a young woman who’s just trying to enjoy her life, it’s frustrating.

I love where we are in our lives and our careers. I love that we’ve gotten to travel around the world just the two of us and I wouldn’t rush into a major change just to meet someone else’s expectations or timeline. And now that we’ve arrived on our terms and at our own pace, I’m so incredibly excited to start this new chapter!

My advice: If you’re happy with where you are, savor this season of your life – it’ll make the next one even sweeter!

Have any more questions? Email me at jen@skirttherulesblog.com or DM me on Instagram and I’d be happy to answer!